Finally Pushing Past the Starting Line...

I have wanted to blog for longer than I can remember. But I just never felt "ready."

Looking at all of the other mommy bloggers and their beautiful photos and their to-the-point rationale and relatable stories... I just never felt up to par. What would I write about? Who would even read it? How would I organize it? What would I call myself? The list went on and on. Once I finally stopped questioning everything (which believe me, this is HARD for me to do), I realized I don't need to have a fancy house and the large family, and all of the pretty pictures. I just need to tell the story of my own life, what I am going through, how I deal with things, and what I am experiencing. Because that's all I really CAN write, ya know? That's what I know. And SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE will relate to me.

This is why I want to blog in the first place. I want to connect with people. I want YOU to feel that you can relate to someone, that you are not alone, and that you too can do WHATEVER that thing is you want to do. Hey look at me, I am writing my FIRST PUBLISHED blog post--trust me, you can do it. People that aren't interested in what I write, aren't interested and I have decided that I am OKAY with that.

I thought of all the excuses in the world as to why I couldn't start *just yet.* I'm one of those people who worries about all the other little details first before jumping into something BIG. (The other half of the time, I’m a professional at winging it). If I don't have all of those kinks worked out in my head, I stop and prevent myself from doing something I really want to do... how unfair is that!? I am trying to teach myself that it isn't fair or kind to treat myself that way; that I need to relax a bit and trust myself! I just need to take that leap of faith, get started, and figure out the rest along the way (which is really hard for me to do when I feel I have so much at stake). In the same breath there are plenty of OTHER things I have NO problem just winging it! I am usually the "don't worry, we will figure it out" chick. So how am I both?? You let me know when you figure that one out, sister.

However, I do like to be preventative, set up for success, and so here I am, writing this first blog post in the Notes of my iPhone. (and NOW here I am transferring onto my actual blog!) I just had all of these thoughts swirling in my head and I thought I need to get them out on paper, I need to just get them down. This year in 2020 has been a whirlwind to say the least. As it has been for most people. With being a second grade teacher, having my boyfriend move in with me, being pregnant with our first child, things have been feeling quite a bit...backwards. This wasn't the way I intended life to go-- I had PLANS I tell you! I had visions. I had things I wanted to do, and NOT in this order. But, apparently God had other plans, and I am also learning to be okay with that.

Meanwhile, we live in a duplex, we are currently not married yet, and my baby is almost already 1 year old (where DOES the time go? Seriously.). But I love my life in my currently small (but nicely decorated) home, my new family, and juggling ALL that comes with it!